I always knew I wanted to be some kind of performer. When I was a little girl; around six, I would dress up in my mama’s clothes, put on her candy apple red lipstick, her long black wig, and pretend I was Diana Ross. She’d sit in our small apartment living room and watch me as though I was giving a stellar performance.
As I reflect back on that time in my life; that moment of innocence, that sparked my desire to perform, I realize that God was preparing me for the journey ahead. A journey that frankly I hadn’t intended to pursue. I wanted to be a model and did so for several years. But ultimately, my path changed and led me to become an actress.
What a great detour.
Acting is hard work that must appear to be seamless. I learned this very quickly while filming my first feature length independent film “The Boy With The Sun In His Eyes”. When I first read the casting breakdown on Backstage.com, I knew that I wanted to be the lead female character “Solange”. I was intrigued by her description “…an ‘80s one-hit-wonder/Italian horror film star/model who is not who she appears to be… black woman, singer, dancer, all-around diva”.
I said to myself, “Oh yeah, I can do this part!” I immediately sent the director, Todd Verow (Bangorfilms), my Backstage.com profile and a cover letter. I was thrilled when he emailed me an audition time. And while this wouldn’t be my first acting audition I knew it would be a milestone.
Before my audition; I Googled Todd, and did my homework. I wanted to know before hand the director I may be working with. To me, this is an important part of preparation. If you are auditioning for a role it behooves you to research the director, producers, and writers. You can use this as insight. To me, meeting a director at an audition is like a blind date. But you don’t want to walk in there completely blind. You want to know something about the person. This will help you to present yourself in the best possible light. The same way you would get all dolled up for a blind date with your hopeful Mr. or Mrs. Right.
The night before my blind date with Todd, I selected my wardrobe, and ran my lines (he was gracious in sending me sides ahead of time). That morning, I was so excited that I couldn’t eat. So I had a little snack and some juice then got dressed. I reviewed the sides, reading between the lines, looking for clues as to who “Solange” is.
Based on the casting notice (and the sides) I learned that the parallels between my personality and “Solange’s” were similar. All I had to do was BE MYSELF. And that’s what many beginning actors miss. They try to be someone else. I knew that I couldn’t pretend to be a “black woman, singer, dancer, all-around diva” as the casting notice stated. Either I was or I wasn’t. And I was; to some extent, all of those things.
Every time I have an audition, I set a goal for myself. Not primarily to land the gig, because lets face it, we are more often rejected than accepted. Instead, I have learned to set a performance goal. For this role I knew I had to make strong choices in my performance and in my physical presentation. So that’s the goal I set for myself. My objective was to show Todd that I was “Solange”. And even if I didn’t land the part, I’d walk out knowing I’d given a great audition.
On the train ride from Jersey into New York Penn Station I wrote in my journal. My experiences as a budding actress are scribbled in journals that I affectionately call “My Journey”. While on the 45-minute train ride I jotted down my emotions. Which were all over the place! I was excited, scared, anxious, hopeful, curious, sick to the stomach, sleepy, and hyper. A big bundle of nerves. The walk to the studio helped calm me down. I didn’t want to go in there all schizophrenic. Before I entered the audition studio I mouthed a silent prayer and left my nerves on 8th Avenue.
When I walked into the Ripley Grier Studios; all my neurotic emotions were calmed, and my faith kicked in. After signing in, I immediately went in the ladies room, and prayed. I am an actor of faith; and to me, prayer is a key component to my preparation. When I don’t pray I’m off my game. My faith is what sustains me. It’s my anchor.
Just moments after coming from the bathroom, my name was called, and my stomach did twenty flips. When I walked into the small room I immediately recognized Todd. Next to him was a young guy. I greeted both of them with a warm smile, a confident hand shake, and a “hello, nice to meet you.” Remember what I said about auditions being like a blind date? You want to make a great first impression! You want to be charming, genuine, and appealing. If you just walk in, and sit, or stand in front of the them, with no greeting, you come across as if you really don’t want to be there. “Gee, I can’t wait to get this over with!” is the look on your face. Not good.
My advice is that you walk in there happy. Even if your dog just died, your landlord served you an eviction notice, and your bank account is over-drafted. This is your moment. Your opportunity to show them you are the best actor for the part. Leave your worries at the door and shine!
After our pleasantries, I gave both of them my head shot, with the resume stapled to the back. As a rule of thumb, I always bring three head shots to an audition with me. You never know how many key people are at the audition; so one is not enough. Todd invited me to have a seat, in a stiff uncomfortable chair, facing the table and camera. I was asked, “Are you ready?” With confidence I replied “Yes I am”. I was then asked to slate myself (which is to say my name, contact number, and in some cases union status). Then he said, “Okay Mahogany, whenever you’re ready.” I placed the sides in my lap, and gave it my all.
I firmly believe that all of my attention to detail aided me in giving a great audition. I had thought about who “Solange” is and what her objectives were in the scenes. I was connected to this character, even down to her physical mannerisms, and the way she smiled.
During my audition for “The Boy With The Sun In His Eyes” I kept positive thoughts in the forefront of my mind. Usually, during an audition, the casting people’s faces are stone cold serious. It’s like a judge’s face when he is reading the jury’s verdict. Totally blank. Knowing this, I didn’t stress myself by trying to measure Todd’s like or dislike of my audition. I sat a goal to give a great performance and that’s all I could do. If I distracted myself by stealing glances at his face I would’ve gotten off track. So I literally replaced his face, and the young guy next to him, with faces of people in my life. I did the same thing with the camera.
Cameras can be very intimidating machines to a newbie actor. For me, my years as a model taught me open up to the camera. Sure, they are big and bulky. And they just sit there, with a wide eye, looking right through you. But once you train yourself to know that you can’t conceal anything from the camera, you learn to open up, make friends with it, and have fun. The camera is not your enemy. It’s there to capture all that makes you unique and special. Use it to your advantage.
Whenever I have to read lines “to” or “in” the camera, I instinctively know to replace the eye of the camera with the eyes of someone I care about. And in some cases, the eyes of someone I can’t stand. This helps me relax and be natural in the scene.
All of these audition techniques I’ve shared in this blog has helped me tremendously. I use them each and every time I go on an audition. Especially the prayer time. Sometimes I get the part, sometimes I don’t. But no matter what the outcome is, I always walk out of that audition room with a strong sense of accomplishment.
The day of my audition I was happy. Happy that I made a decision to pursue a career in acting despite the odds. Happy that I had taken time to prepare. And happy that I stepped out on faith. When my audition was over, I had a feeling that Todd liked my performance; because unlike most directors during an audition, he smiled at me. I smiled back, shook his hand, said “Thank you”, and walked out…or rather floated out.
Before boarding my train back to Jersey, I bought a bouquet of flowers, as a treat to myself. That morning, I had read a passage in Our Daily Bread that said we should celebrate in times of victory and disappointment. I didn’t know if I had gotten the part, but I did know that I gave a great audition, and that was cause to celebrate. On the ride home, I wrote in my journal, making note of the things I did in the audition, and how I felt about the experience. I had achieved something significant. Even if I didn’t get the part.
Several excruciating days later Todd emailed me requesting a call back. I showed up to the IFC Center full of energy, and in the same outfit as my first audition, for continuity. This time, I had new sides, and two actors auditioning for “John” to read with. The call back was a long process, but I enjoyed every minute.
Todd wrapped the audition, and said he’d be in touch in two weeks if we got the role. I wondered how I’d keep sane for two weeks! Whenever the audition crossed my mind over those first few days, I just kept telling myself, “This is my part! Thank you God for my acting job!”
Then one morning, while checking my email, I saw Todd’s name in my inbox. My fingers were shaking, and I started biting my lip, as my eyes darted back and forth reading the words, “…we want you for the part…” I jumped up, ran through my apartment, screaming. I scared my cat Caesar half to death with my erratic antics. He hissed in displeasure of me disturbing his nap. I was so excited I couldn’t sit still!
When I finally calmed down, I announced by an e-mail blast to my family, friends, and a former acting teacher that I had “landed a leading role in a movie”. That same day, they all replied with well-wishes and congratulations. My former acting teacher echoed those sentiments as well, but with a question that caused me to pause. He asked, “How did you do it?” I sat on my bed and starred blankly at my laptop screen. What a serious question I thought.
One word came to mind. FAITH.
I am a spiritual person. A believer. A woman of faith. And now, an actor of faith. I do not believe in luck. Luck; like dreaming, is allusive and evasive to me. But faith, faith is solid and reliable. I truly believe that if you have faith you can accomplish any goal. The Word of God says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1.
When my acting teacher proposed that question “how did you do it?” I replied to him “with a lot of faith and preparation.” He then responded that he’d like me to share my experience because it would be beneficial to his students. That encouraged me to write this blog.
I turned myself inside out during the course of filming this movie. So much so, that I am a new person now. It was an amazing journey that often left me emotionally drained; physically beat down and mentally high. We filmed portions of the movie in Europe. It was a whole new world for me and I loved every minute of it.
And I can’t wait to do it again! To check out the movie's blog site visit: www.theboywiththesuninhiseyes.com
And see a music video clip of me as "Solange" in her 80's music diva glory at:
www.mahoganyreynolds.com
Be blessed and stay encouraged,
Mahogany
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